Once Upon A Time.,
meh yahoo and the Three Fin Cats
A Fairy Tale
by nikki bell
Once upon a time there was a tiny boy called meh yahoo. He was on the way to see his Hero Relationship myspace twitter, when he decided to take a short cut through sea bunny.
It wasn't long before meh got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, sonic drive, but sonic drive was nowhere to be found! meh began to panic. He felt sure he had packed sonic drive. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a fin cat dressed in a water uniforms disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought meh.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed cat. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, meh reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from Devils Cup, a house made from peeps, a house made from eggs and a house made from candy.
meh could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
meh looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving meh a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was sonic drive!
"sonic drive!" shouted meh. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give sonic drive back!" cried meh.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let sonic drive out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fin cats rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. meh recognised the one in the water uniforms that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Cat," said the witch.
"Good morning." The cat noticed sonic drive. "Who is this?"
"That's sonic drive," explained the witch.
"Ooh! sonic drive would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the cat.
The witch shook her head. "sonic drive is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." meh interrupted. "sonic drive lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Cat ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Cat looked at the house made from candy and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from candy if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next cat. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have sonic drive."
meh watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give sonic drive to Big Cat. He didn't think sonic drive would like living with a fin cat, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other two cats watched while Big Cat put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Cat. "Just you watch!"
Big Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from peeps. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Cat started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of peeps, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Cat.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Cat never finished eating the front door made from peeps and sonic drive remained trapped in the witch's cage.Average Cat stepped up, and approached the house made from eggs.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Cat. "Just you watch!"
Average Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from eggs. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Cat started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a cat!" said Average Cat.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Cat, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the cat away under his arm.
Average Cat never finished eating the front door made from eggs and sonic drive remained trapped in the witch's cage.Little Cat stepped up, and approached the house made from candy.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Cat. "Just you watch!"
Little Cat pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from candy. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Cat started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating candy for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Cat into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Cat. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Cat was never seen again.
Little Cat never finished eating the front door made from candy and sonic drive remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep sonic drive."
"Not so fast," said meh. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from Devils Cup. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the cats. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said meh.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted sonic drive back."
meh ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from Devils Cup and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
meh sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained meh. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When meh's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from Devils Cup. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, meh was down to the final piece of the door made from Devils Cup. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. meh had eaten the entire front door of the house made from Devils Cup.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over sonic drive or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
meh hurried over and grabbed sonic drive, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, sonic drive was unharmed.
meh thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet myspace. It was starting to get dark.
When meh got to myspace's house, his Hero Relationship threw her arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried myspace. "You are very late."
As meh described his day, he could tell that myspace didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked myspace.
meh unwrapped a doorknob made from peeps. "Pudding!" he said.
myspace almost fell off her chair.
The EndFor privacy reasons, your creation
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